i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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