im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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