That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
