Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
