I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
