I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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