I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
