I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
