i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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