Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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