My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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