it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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