I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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