I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
