My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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