I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
