So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
