TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
