Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
