so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
