90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
