One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ruined the universe
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
