the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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