On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
