theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
