i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
