So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
