You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
