How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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