im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
