my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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