I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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