What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
