He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
