Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
