i just wanna soil my oats bro
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize