a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We are two peas in an std pod
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think people are normalizing furries
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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