hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she smelled like a LAN party
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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