Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
