She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
