I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
