Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
