so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
