also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
