Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
