I wish I could teleport
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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