I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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