i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
