The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
