this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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