The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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