eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
