I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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