If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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