now i know why i became what i already was.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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