the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
