Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize