All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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