I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
