This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
