It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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