ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
