Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
