Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize